what if...

I mean.. what if i don't want to do stuff what other people expect me to do. or what if i don't want to hit that mark with perfect job, get that fancy house, with even more expensive holiday abroad and show it off on the internet.
its kinda boring how everyone following this dogma. everyone wants to be better, richer, more prettier or any other more as they are. most of them even don't see what they have or what they can achieve .. but hey ho, its not in the fashion column so they will just leave it on the side.

I would like to think that word and people can change but i don't think its possible. I have days when I think like if I be more like that..maybe I will get more.. then I wake up.

What more I can change? I changed country, jobs, boyfriends, friends...and still same person with just more years on my shoulders. so screw it... I am tired of following what other wants and expects. maybe I just needed that experiences to take me back to the start to see that its all okay. that I will mess up things, and get up and make it better. that i will meet people who are not really my friends and guys who are really not my boyfriends.. that maybe all this its just some sick circle with that silly meaning of the who I am or what it should shape me to.

either way.. I don't wanna follow. I want to be myself with all the mistakes and bad decisions. as well.... why not. I would like to say its all peachy and we will all be good and happy. we will not, we will be hurt, let down, we will loose people what we care about BUT it will be okay as its should be like that. just don't try to fluff it up. this is life, live it best you can with all the regrets and doubts as thats what is great about it. we have choices. and god help me and make wrongs ones.. but still happy I made them as they shaped my life now.


so just do your F****D up.. as they will be your crossroads one day :) in the good way. just go with it, it will always work it out.

Short Trip /shopping problems

I have love and hate relationship with London. Sound weird I know. I have months when I adore it, and blabber about I want to live there, and another when I am quite glad I am back in my town. But Autumn is season when I love London. Its not too hot, not too many tourist ( Hate when they slow me down). Its easier to get everywhere. And its just something about this season what I find very attractive.
Fashion is one of it, comfy jumper, with jeans and warm shoes. Nothing better as snuggle up yourself in the warm clothing. Plus HATS <3 I discover them recently, and I am addicted :) I never thought they would suit me, but they weirly do :)
I been in London just for few days this time. But like most of the girls I had to have luggage as I have way too many things what I need for sleeping over. Older I get, more stuff I need.

Its not cheapest destination to be. Although if you know where to go its okay. I am glad that Trivago exist, as they do have great offers, I been in the Marble Arch location what is the ideal for me. Everything is close. Especially morning coffee, usually I have take away and go to sit in the park but been windy and I don't fancy to get cold. Rudolf nose isn't a great look for me.  I never start day without coffee.. its just something what I do need to function normally. ( That include talking) My friends knows not to talk with me before I have least one sip. They learn pretty quick never ever touch my cup :) I love them and share everything accept my beloved morning coffee :) I like my coffee black, strong and without sugar..not many my friends like it this way. They usually going for some milky version with shot of something ( Meaning flavor, not alcohol )

And frankly I been there mostly to do shopping. Summer is over and I need new wardrobe - well don't need it, just want it. Lets be honest :) Plus me and my friend having annoying habit to support each other into buying things. Always very supportive with decision if to buy this or that..even I have exact same thing in the different color :)
Sometimes I find myself buying thing what I love, but know its not really for me, and that I WILL WEAR  IT APPROXIMATELY NEVER :D But  I buy it.. not sure why I do that. I usually tell myself something like ,,you need to step outside your comfort zone, this piece is a great start,,
Hope I am not the only one who does that :)

I always go to Soho, and always having sushi, If i could have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner I would be happy. I have it often home, but lets be real - they make it 100% better as me. Mine look like art project of 9 years old child. Its taste good tho. So I guess I would just not share how my looks like :)

Next time when I will be there, I want to find more funky places for coffee or evening wine. I usually going to obvious places. Its okay but its about the time I will try to find something new :) If anyone have some suggestion, please let me know. As I will be going there again next month. Least I hope so, end of the day its just 2 hours drive from where I live. Who knows maybe one day I will move there. London would suit me ;)

Next time I will try to take more pictures as I usually forget :) Going for holiday this Saturday so hopefully I will do post regularly and make loads of pictures. Its depends on wifi connection there. I am lost without 4g :)
                                                                  Kisses
                                                            Xxx Kat xxX

WINE AS RESULTS OF DATING - amen

Well when I have been teenager I was thinking in my late twenties I will have my life sorted out! Well that was a mistake. 

Just went off the phone with my sister ( she is actually few years older as me, just saying) and we had similar conversation like 12 years ago.. Accept swap tea (back then) for wine (DEFINITELY NOW). Other as that NOTHING CHANGED! we still talking about guys, what they think and why they do this or that. And that question still reminds!!!
,,DOES HE LIKES ME?,, Age or where you are in your life-doesn’t freaking matter. You still having same questions.. ,, why I am not good enough for him,, ,, what I have done wrong,, ,,WHY HE DOESN’T LIKE ME,, ???
Seems like never ending story. So for me, Prince Charming doesn’t exist! I met my share of ugly, slimy frogs! And kissing them was least of the problem ..
And If I met someone who I did like and been excited about it..well I been taken like a friend ( f..k that) or he wasn't ready to settle down or for anything serious. ( ehm, seriously dude?)

My sis asked me..What if he is The One. I really really like him.. What I should do? Pffff honestly I have no idea.. Especially if it’s someone who you love and you know that other person doesn’t have it same way. Its just hard to admit it I guess. Once when you see it, you will move on ( or literally move on to someone else ) Well so like past 10 year (yes I am 28) we will end up with bottle of wine and saying he is a son of …. and not worth it ( what is denial, come on we liked him in first place )

Bridget Jones is start looking like our life story. So stop shaking the asshole tree and expect Prince Charming to fall down.. Not gonna happen.
I will just buy a cat! or wine... ;)

                                                                      Kisses
                                                                Xxx Kat xxX

Espresso Kitchen - Love for first time

I discovered absolutely adorable coffee place. Well after last one year I decided step out of mine comfort zone. So did I. I usually don't like changes, so start trying new things, places..been scary for me. Same as fact go alone for coffee just with book. But you know what? It have been pleasant experience :)

Espresso Kitchen - Is a small coffee place in the center of Bournemouth. I walking around this place quite often.. but never went inside. Its adorable little place, full of different aspects of art, random things, smell of homemade cakes..mainly have that atmosphere what is hard to find. And its pretty AMAZING coffee. What pointing fact that Starbucks is opposite and Costa and Cafe Nero are just on the corner. But still I will not go anywhere else again. 

You Have to admit its cute, I am surprise I wasn't there sooner as now, but better late as never.

Inside interior is unique. You can see someone take care of that place with passion and love. Fact what made me laugh was wifi password... just check mirror :) How I said Starbucks is just around the corner .

Another facts what I loved was they had little book selection what you can check there ( not take ;). And I fall in love with one. Its funny, little different, same as this small charming cafe. I will definitely come again soon and order this book :)

 If anyone have any suggestions for nice cafe around Dorset or London let me know. :) I will be more as excited to try them out.

Kisses

Xxx Kat xxX

Little intro before explanation

I mean I am the worst person who can have blog. I been so busy with my life I didn't even consider to check blogs. I deleted even that app..

Maybe it's good, who knows. It's not like I am good in this.. But I cannot find my drive. Well that's sound desperate .. 🙈

Last few months been weird. I was trying to find myself, find purpose of loads of things and it's seems I am back on track.i will actually do few post dedicated my holiday and journey how I manage to get back .. And I don't mean blogging. But will be nice to write it all down. 

So keep that short and sweet.. 

                      Loads of love 

                     X x x Kat x x X

I live far away...

I didn't even check blog or internet last month.
My daddy got really sick and have to had op, I felt really useless and not be able to help. Cannot take time off from work-only option was leave and I cannot afford that. So I was waiting for any news or what will happen. Seems like this is price for being far away from my family.
Thankfully everything is okay now and I book holiday for end of February. Cant wait to be home and see everyone.
Past one month I was thinking if its good thing I am here or should I move back. When I check pro and con I saw I wanna stay here as my life is here, I would not be happy back there. Even with my family I cannot see myself there anymore. Maybe it sound silly or weird but I do love England.

When I moved here those years ago, I never knew I would love this place so much. How I will adore this town or all those ppl who I met. I found love, friends and home. Just when is something happen back home its hard to be there.

I will manage my account better from now on. Hopefully things will get better and I will be myself soon again.


                                                 Loads of love 
                                                 Xxx Kat xxX

The ME Time Tag

I do like this tag..its fun and me being way too curious its fun way how to find out more about someone :)

1. What do you like to watch or read during me-time?

I always end up on YouTube and browsing vids there, other as that I quite like Supernatural, Big bang Theory. But if I wants to relax I read book. I enjoy empty and peaceful house :) 

2. What do you wear during me-time?

I normally wear pj around the house, make up free and hair messy... looking like idiot but its comfy :)

 3. What are your favourite me-time beauty products?

None! Only thing what I using is shower gel and body lotion. Giving rest to my face and body. 

4. Current favourite nail polish?

I currently using Forever yummy from Essie. I wear red nails all year around. This color really is really pretty. 

 5. What do you eat or drink during me-time?

COFFEE! I am coffee addict, have one in the morning when I wake up and few more during the day :)

6. Current favourite candle?

That is hard!!! well I love all of them but have to be ginger bread from one unknown company. Yankee Candles are classic, cannot be without them.

 7. Do you ever have outdoor me-time?

Yes, I have dog so I cannot avoid it. Plus I do like walking. Other as that...is shopping counts like outdoor me time?:)

8. Would you ever go and watch a film alone?

YES! Did it few times, and I cannot see anything wrong about it. End of the day when you go to cinema you don't talk with your companion anyways :)

9. Favourite online shop?

To be honest I don't like online shopping, I like to be out and check shops, stop in Starbucks, watch people ( I know I am weird) :D and have all this at once. Its relaxing 

10. Anything to add? What else do you do during me-time?

Have to be blanket, fluffy cosy socks, my laptop and phone.... and junk food... mainly take away like Chinese. Just to do what its feel right or don't do anything  :) Its me time so I don't have rules ;)

                                                        Loads of love

                                                        Xxx Kat xxX